Bruno Deshayes Copywriting Blog

I once said to God: "Make me the person you want me to be."

Just one word of advice - don't utter these words lightly. You end-up being on your own trying to make sense of the situation - racing 1000 scenarios of where things might have gone wrong - where did I lose the plot?

God does not owe you an answer on every question you ask. Remember He is Sovereign. I thought being unemployed was bad enough. But I wasn't unemployed. I was running my own business and it was falling apart fast. More to the point it never really got off the ground. But how do you know when to pull the plug on your dearest dream?

Then disquiet and friction crept in the home. Rebellious teenagers, disrespectful wife. Obviously I wasn't the best father and husband they had hoped for. They wanted a cash cow that would keep on providing hail, rain or shine. So I wasn't a man anymore - I was a bum.

After they left I had peace. Peace to stare at the walls wondering how to pay off the credit card, the car loan and the mortgage. I wrote a screenplay about the ordeal while it was still fresh in my mind. Writing brings me peace and closure.

Then I moved heaven and earth in a prayer offensive to restore things the way they were or better. Thinking all of this was just a bad dream. But it got worse. While I was holding an olive branch of reconciliation she was busy seeking another relationship. She found what she wanted and I was devastated. So much for praying and trusting God! You could have at least tapped me on the shoulder and advised me I was barking at the wrong tree.

It is not our business to know the future. What matters is the attitude of our heart. But then another test was forthcoming: homelessness. January 2009 was the housing crisis in Sydney and the lease of my flat wasn't being renewed. I moved my furniture and belongings into storage. I bought a panel van as my mobile living quarters. Then winter came. I read books in shopping centres and worked with my laptop in public libraries. Do you want to be a Christian too?

It's not what happens to you that matters to God. Most of the time He is in control and you're not. It's the way you handle it. You can say to yourself this is just another test. You can say to yourself God values you so much He believes you can pull it through and become in the process the refined gold He is after. Welcome to every day boot camp!

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