Bruno Deshayes Copywriting Blog

Emotional abuse is a powerplay for the control of your mind. It does not come from someone who is a stranger rather that control uses an existing relationship to manipulate you - let it be a parent/child, husband/wife or boss/employee relationship.

The abuse operates because you cannot easily break out from the relationship. It takes hold over a period of time through repetition. The scars remain long after the abuse has stopped (ie - you take that hurt with you into adulthood).

The manipulation operates through words, through actions or through neglect. The abuser is often a victim of abuse and repeats the pattern of behaviour learned from the past generation. To the offender, manipulating you is a way to prop up their low self-esteem and their un-fulfilled life at your expense. What should be a win-win situation is now a lose-lose situation.

Through words spoken the abuse is things like: being always right, judging you, calling you names, making fun of you, lecturing you, reminding you of every detail of your past and lastly isolating you through complete silence.

Through actions the abuse can be a perfectly regimented lifestyle, threats and outbursts of anger, opposite swings of mood taking you by surprise, a perfect personality in public and an outrageous character at home, favouritism towards your siblings, finally chores or responsibilities a child should not bear.

Through neglect the abuser treats you like you do not exist, or is physically missing from the house or cuts out all emotional interaction.

Emotional abuse is an attack on your identity as a person. It prevents you from intimacy. It can be the root cause of anger and depression (which is really anger directed inwards). As you are unable to express yourself, take risks in relationships and enjoy life you become self centered and tend to magnify your problems. In turn you are likely to dish out the same abuse you have suffered.

So what is the way to break the vicious circle of abuse? Well, there is someone who knows you very well and loves you very much. Once your relationship with Him is restored then your relationship with yourself will fall into place and your relationship with others will blossom. So who is that person? Well you know Him already but I guess you need to have a second look.

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